Firstly I am reminded of these lyrics by Lennon and McCartney,
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN TODAY
I NEVER NEEDED ANYONE TO HELP IN ANYWAY
BUT NOW THOSE DAYS ARE GONE
I’M NOT SO SELF ASSURED
NOW I FIND I’VE CHANGED MY MIND AND OPENED UP THE DOORS
HELP ME IF YOU CAN, I’M FEELING DOWN
AND DO APPRECIATE YOU BEING ROUND
HELP ME GET MY FEET BACK ON THE GROUND
WON’T YOU PLEASE HELP ME
AND NOW MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN OH SO MANY WAYS
MY INDEPENDENCE SEEMS TO VANISH IN THE HAZE
BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN I FEEL SO INSECURE
I KNOW THAT I JUST NEED YOU LIKE I’VE NEVER DONE BEFORE
So why the above? Well let me explain, back in 2009 whilst working for HM Prison Service I suffered a major breakdown and sunk into a dark depression and as you maybe aware once something like that happens you never ever recover from depression and then in 2015 I had a stroke and fell out of bed and broke my back that incapacitated for two years and ended any chance of me ever working again and so once again the depression came to the fore.
Then now in 2020 we were locked down and being in what is called the “vulnerable” category I had to shield so once again not being able to get out and about I was back in the depression and with the further measures announced a couple of weeks ago my plans for a holiday break in February have been scuppered so I am feeling really down.
I have lost my mojo and really lost all interest in doing anything (including Tenant Involvement, Residents Association, Parish Council etc.) I even gave up going to Slimming World and put on one and a half stone during lockdown after losing three stone twelve pounds prior.
Lots of people tried to offer advice but I shunned them (and my family) thinking that I was capable of getting myself out of this state of mind but I did not succeed.
So I was pleased that my fellow Ambassador Tony Buchanan agreed to meet up with me once a week for coffee (in a safe environment and social distancing venue) so that we could exchange views and generally just chat and this has lifted my spirits over the past couple of weeks and of course we had the Tenant Involvement Jit-si meeting that also helped give me a lift.
So what I am saying is sometimes you need others so please do not let your pride rule your head if you need help don’t be afraid to ask, help is out there! As the man says we are all in this together.
Stay Safe & happy birthday John Lennon who would have been 80 years old today!