It Comes To Us All...by Brenda Walton

Why is it that so many people will not talk about death? In everyone's life that moment will come and not thinking of it will not make it go away.

We all have our different likes and dislikes so why don't we make them known on the subject of our funeral?

I have recently seen (and not for the first time) a family torn apart by the choices available when someone dies,

It is a time when those left behind should gather together to help one another deal with the loss not be daggers drawn over how or what should happen.

For some, who have strong faith. their religion will dictate the form of service but for others who have little or no faith there are no rules. This is when the trouble can start.

I cannot say what will work for you. Each of us are individuals and must make their own decisions,

I thought long and hard. I found it easier to say what I did not want but hard to decide what I did want. Did I even want a funeral? (You can now arrange for your body to be collected and cremated with no family or friends there.) I wanted to give people the chance to say 'Goodbye' as I had often welcomed the opportunity to do just that.

So I wrote down how I would like things to happen. I had my children visit me, without their partners, and had a straight talk with them. At first it was 'It's a long time away we don't need to discuss this now' but I stood my ground and had my say.

I chose the music I would like and wrote a letter from me to be read out at the service. I then went to a funeral director, specified what I wanted and paid for a funeral plan. My children came with me as by then they could see how important it was to me.

You may find reading this uncomfortable or maybe you feel I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I just hope it makes you consider your options.